As usual, I was confused about something concerning my son's school the other day and was talking (well, emailing but that's the way we generally talk these days, don't we); So anyway, I was EMAILing about it to a friend and she happened to mention something that struck a cord.
Not that I am anti-feminist or something like that, but it happens to be true for my husband and I, and a few other people I know so I thought it was worth a mention. My friend quoted something her grandma used to say - Mostly women take the right decision the first time around, but then tend to think a lot about their decision and get confused, which is just the opposite of what men do...
And how true is that. HOW TRUE is that. For me - it's like a sentence out of my biography. A nail in my coffin. Should I have explored the other option more, should I have consulted my parents, should I have gone for it, should i have done this or should i have done that.
My husband is always firm on what he decides, though he might vacillate a lot before he comes to that decision. In most cases he never regret any decision he makes, or rather doesn't ponder about it. Once decided, it is to be. For me, to put it politely (for myself), I'm the thinker.
So, today, I make a decision that I'm going to stop fretting about stuff afterwords. And as my friend's grandma says - the first decision would be my best. I'm going to trust my instincts a little more. After all, nothing bad has come out of them yet!
7 comments:
Unknown said...
:-) gotta be the first to comment on this piece.....
way to go, Nidhi.....i'm sure u are anywayz gonna put in some thoughts before the 'first decision',, so in my opinion, u are totally good.....also, it's true for me and Raams too....
btw, that granny looks very cute and happy.....
Keep writing,
Uma
Unknown said...
In Quizzing there is a similar rule - it says go with the first guess. Life should be understood backwards and lived forward. So the decisions are what makes your life, in whatever way you choose to. For me, its not about the right or wrong decision, its how heartfelt the decision was, if you moved your feet to the beat of your heart, there are no regrets. Given a chance, you should be able to say if you had to relive your life, you would make the same mistakes, only quicker.
- Shouvik.
Sangeetha said...
Hi Nidhi, As usual, on the mark! I loved it. And, it definitely rings true. Nothing pro or anti feminist about it.
neerav said...
Any decision is taken on the basis of available information, what happens is that with time the information available increases and then the decision may appear to be wrong. The thing to be reviewed is wether the decision taken was right according to the available information.and dost any decision intails some thought and this difference between male and female thought process, is it really so?
Nidhi Singh said...
Nidhi Singh said...
Thanx Uma... Yeah! A lot of thought goes into the first decision itself and that is my whole point.
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Shouvik... hats off... i love that one... "Given a chance, you should be able to say if you had to relive your life, you would make the same mistakes, only quicker.".
Yeap, though it is a little difficult to live a life like that... i wish i can... even now i can think of a few things i would like to change given a chance to relive my life... not so easy to live a life like that, though it may sound exactly what you would want yours to be.
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Thank you Sangeetha!
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First of all, Neerav, thank you for writing on my blog... this is the first time you visited... and I'm so glad!
You are absolutely on the mark that we keep getting more information with time and we keep debating our decisions based on addon info.
I also believe that there is a basic difference between the way a man's mind works/thinks and how a woman's mind does the same. None of those is right or wrong per se, but there is a elementary difference.
In this case, I feel that women tend to fret about stuff a lot more. It could be simply a result of the fact that we want to do everything perfect. Probably because woman are judged more often and hence we have this tendency to be over cautious just to prove ourselves and hold on to the images we have created of ourselves for us and for others.
- Thanx everyone guyz... Nidhi
Shubhs said...
ditto...I always tell Kapil how can you just decide like that..don't you want to think about it a little more? and I come up with a lots of ifs and buts (kintu parantu as u know !)
But I guess it's a good balance that one has a cautious approach and another is a fast decision maker...it's a good balance !