A man called Juan Mann started a campaign called Free Hugs Campaign. He was at the lowest point in his life and wanted to be comforted but had no one to turn to. He went to the busiest pedestrian crossing in Sydney and stood there with a sign saying 'Free hugs'. It took him 15 minutes of stares and weird looks before a lady came up to him and said that she lost her dog today on the first anniversary of her daughter's death last year - he knelt down and hugged her and thus started his campaign. For more details check out his website at http://www.freehugscampaign.org/.
I've always believed that a person says a lot by the way s/he first greets you. The tone of the voice, the gestures and the touch all has its own language.
But to be hugged is the best. If a person meets me and gives me a warm hug, I immediately warm up to the person. It indicates to me that s/he is glad to see me and I am welcome here. It makes me feel very comfortable and unconsciously I loosen up. I want to share myself with her and listen to what she has to say.
Have you ever had the urge to hug the spouse of a friend or a colleague the first time you meet them. I have. It's because you've heard so much about them that it doesn't seems as if you are getting together only now; you are just glad to finally put a face to the image you have created. I've restrained myself at such times just for the fear of appearing weird.
I agree that I can't expect to be hugged on the first occasion I meet people but if I get a hug back at the end of the time we spend together, I feel that we have had a successful meeting and we enjoyed each others company. In one word, I feel connected.
Of course professional environments are different and you have to act like one. But even there a firm but warm hand shake can get you the passage to talk about the million dollar proposal you were hesitating to put forward before you walked in.
Here is what a hug can do for you... it connects you with people, makes the receiver and you more comfortable, bring a smile on a frowning face and you never know, might even get you the biggest piece of the cake at the end of the party :o).
Social factors, of course, govern a lot of physical interaction between people. If a guy goes and tries to hug his Arab friend's wife in a veil, he might get his throat slit. In India, though the culture has changed enormously now, some families are still not comfortable in hugging. Even in my in-laws family, hugging seems to have been introduced recently and it is generally slightly awkward. In a broad way, even now, we would not hug the people of the opposite sex, if they are not our parents, siblings or cousins. It is more of a mark of respect or the acknowledgment of a female's space and dignity.
But in general, hugs and handshakes can tell you a lot about the other person's feeling towards you. If you're a guy and you are not into hugging, try the pound hug (where you shake hands with one and use the other hand to embrace) - that would be a good start.
There is no greater feeling than hugging a child and getting that hug back. When I hug my son and pat him on his back, he always does the same. Nothing, absolutely nothing, can replace the feeling of his arms around me and his small hands patting me in return.
A Bollywood movie came out a couple of years back with the catch line 'Jaadu ki jhappi' or 'The magical hug'. Giving a hug was the protagonist's way of bringing a smile on any frowning face. He said it was his magical hug... to take away the frown and bring peace and clarity to the receiver's mind.
So go out there and try giving the magical hug to the loved ones around. If you haven't talked to a friend, sister, father or mother in a while, knock on her door and hug her. The 'Jaadu ki jhappi' can really work its magic. As Jill Wolf has very aptly put it, a hug shows the love we're feeling but can't find the words to say.
I've always believed that a person says a lot by the way s/he first greets you. The tone of the voice, the gestures and the touch all has its own language.
But to be hugged is the best. If a person meets me and gives me a warm hug, I immediately warm up to the person. It indicates to me that s/he is glad to see me and I am welcome here. It makes me feel very comfortable and unconsciously I loosen up. I want to share myself with her and listen to what she has to say.
Have you ever had the urge to hug the spouse of a friend or a colleague the first time you meet them. I have. It's because you've heard so much about them that it doesn't seems as if you are getting together only now; you are just glad to finally put a face to the image you have created. I've restrained myself at such times just for the fear of appearing weird.
I agree that I can't expect to be hugged on the first occasion I meet people but if I get a hug back at the end of the time we spend together, I feel that we have had a successful meeting and we enjoyed each others company. In one word, I feel connected.
Of course professional environments are different and you have to act like one. But even there a firm but warm hand shake can get you the passage to talk about the million dollar proposal you were hesitating to put forward before you walked in.
Here is what a hug can do for you... it connects you with people, makes the receiver and you more comfortable, bring a smile on a frowning face and you never know, might even get you the biggest piece of the cake at the end of the party :o).
Social factors, of course, govern a lot of physical interaction between people. If a guy goes and tries to hug his Arab friend's wife in a veil, he might get his throat slit. In India, though the culture has changed enormously now, some families are still not comfortable in hugging. Even in my in-laws family, hugging seems to have been introduced recently and it is generally slightly awkward. In a broad way, even now, we would not hug the people of the opposite sex, if they are not our parents, siblings or cousins. It is more of a mark of respect or the acknowledgment of a female's space and dignity.
But in general, hugs and handshakes can tell you a lot about the other person's feeling towards you. If you're a guy and you are not into hugging, try the pound hug (where you shake hands with one and use the other hand to embrace) - that would be a good start.
There is no greater feeling than hugging a child and getting that hug back. When I hug my son and pat him on his back, he always does the same. Nothing, absolutely nothing, can replace the feeling of his arms around me and his small hands patting me in return.
A Bollywood movie came out a couple of years back with the catch line 'Jaadu ki jhappi' or 'The magical hug'. Giving a hug was the protagonist's way of bringing a smile on any frowning face. He said it was his magical hug... to take away the frown and bring peace and clarity to the receiver's mind.
So go out there and try giving the magical hug to the loved ones around. If you haven't talked to a friend, sister, father or mother in a while, knock on her door and hug her. The 'Jaadu ki jhappi' can really work its magic. As Jill Wolf has very aptly put it, a hug shows the love we're feeling but can't find the words to say.
13 comments:
Anonymous said...
Wow Nidhi,
Sensational as usual. And, conveys exactly what I feel :)
My spokeswoman;))for sure!!
Anonymous said...
Good one Nidhi!
Anonymous said...
Hey , that was one entertaining read.... u r a natural ......
Rupa
Aayush said...
Hey Nidhi,
This happened in downtown toronto last week right outside my office though i did not take the opportunity :)
http://www.thestar.com/article/584504
Great posts, keep your blogs coming...
Aayush
Test said...
Hey Nidhi...I am in total consent with Sangeetha...This is a beautiful article.Thats absolutely what I feel about this jaadu ki jhappi.It can replace frowns with a smile and the feeling is just amazing.You have given words to my feelings here...
Test said...
Hey Nidhi...I am in total consent with Sangeetha...This is a beautiful article.Thats absolutely what I feel about this jaadu ki jhappi.It can replace frowns with a smile and the feeling is just amazing.You have given powerful words to my feelings here...
Anonymous said...
Hey Nidhi,
Congratulations for writing such a good message. I wish, I could be such a good writer. Whoever is encouraging you is doing a real good job (even if it's you). I am proud to be your friend and appreciate your effort.
Keep up your good work.
Anonymous said...
Awesome Nidhi!! Mindboggling article. You are really a talented writer.
--Rupali
Baljinder Singh said...
A related article:
Are Hugs the New Handshakes?
Anonymous said...
HUGS!
I know I am sharing a very private emotion here but my sister surely deserves it!
All through school I got slightly better marks that her even though I never studied much while she slogged. Then she went into college and started winning gold medals.
When she was barely one year into her first job, her bosses asked her to join the interview panel for recruiting more students from her institute. They said, "We want more Nidhis."
Two years into her job and while we were driving somewhere she started narrating the challenges of leading a team of freshers. I asked a question and got a big surprise - she was leading a team of 14 people!
It took me several days to fully digest the fact that my kid sis was leading 14 people. I was the proudest brother in the whole world! I knew the pride of a father who sees his kid grow bigger than him.
And I feel that again today. It has taken me several years of painstaking writing before people started acknowledging that at least I don't bore them anymore. And here's Nidhi, with just her second post - achieving magnificence.
A lovely thought fantastically executed. Because she writes from her heart and her simplicity shows through. Because she gives thought into her sentences and her structured thinking reveals itself.
For years you have been searching for something Nidhi, and this may be it!
Chitra said...
hmmmm I am very shy and kind of uptight about hugs. I do not hug people and feel uncomfortable when they do this to me. I think that I will be more open and all but fail to put emotions in physical actions, d'oh to me. May be I need more reasons for why should I hug more.
Nidhi Singh said...
@Chitra...
I feel that all of us have this initial inhibition about hugging, something that was not too common in our culture. If you just let yourself go you will be able to. There is no greater reason for hugging then trying to connect to other people. For me, i feel closer to people... physical touch is so essential to feel the right vibes. As people say... hug is the new handshake.
Anonymous said...
hi nidhz... i wish i cud give u a BIIIIIGGGG HUG rite now for writing so beautiful...grt job...
raman